the key to self-sabotage
by Coach Brian J. Zahn, PCLC


Did you ever have a dream or wish that meant the world to you, but were told that it's a one-in-a-million shot of working out so you placed it on the back burner for a future time in your life? Did you ever feel so passionate about something that moved your heart, but decided to not proceed on working on it because you thought you weren't good enough? Did you ever want to love from the depths of your soul, but decided to keep your distance just in case someone actually got too
close to possibly hurt you? Or did you ever want to have kids, but thought that since your childhood wasn't so wonderful that it would be easier to live your life without them in fear of making the same mistakes?

There is surely something to say about all the things we have wanted to do in our lives, but never took the time to accomplish them.

So, whatever happened to all our "wants" that we had for ourselves and why aren’t we all following through with them? There’s no secret that when we were born we weren’t given the tools that were required to be self-successful. Even our parents didn’t have a "how-to-raise-a- successful-child" book to help you along the way. And if our parents did, some wouldn’t even read it, either because of their ego and pride or not believing in it or thinking that it was against their culture or religion.

It's true that many of us make choices in not believing in our possibilities. We choose fear over ability and rely on weaknesses to protect ourselves rather than our positive strengths to help us live our lives with fulfillment and happiness. Along with this, we make a clear and precise decision to not live consciously within our heart, yet to live every moment unconsciously in our head, full of self-doubt and negativity. We then become guilty of acting and reacting to every situation instantaneously without ever slowing down and pulling over the side of the road to process the feelings and emotions that we are going through. And as we do so, we control every aspect of our lives and sometimes others because we feel that we can, without ever really listening or acknowledging our true wants in our heart. We simply "self-sabotage" our lives  without ever accomplishing our true wants, which could bring us happiness.

So what’s with all this negativity that we love to be so close too? When we think that all this will help protect us from getting hurt, what it’s actually doing is setting us up for failure in every aspect of our lives. We turn into less passionate people only wishing that we could do more, but really just walking through life like a caterpillar with wings that take us absolutely nowhere because we can’t free ourselves and fly like the shining lights that we are all meant to become. We get so consumed with phrases like "no", "not me", "not possible", "I’m not good enough", "I’m not smart enough", "they said I couldn’t"...etc.

The true fact is, when we look in the mirror we are truly feeling and saying that you don’t “deserve” anything good. We simply condition ourselves to not accept our true greatness that we all possess and throw it away so foolishly. The funny thing is, when it’s too late, and father time comes calling, we see things more clearly and wonder why we believed in such a false notion of being average, while playing the victim role.

We all have heard the question...."What if you couldn’t fail?" There’s no better time than the present to look at your world that you have created and make the right choices in changing it into one that is filled with all that you have ever wanted to do and/or become. The present moment is a wonderful time to start writing down your strengths and weakness, as well as your positives and negatives. Once you truly see your assets, only then can you start the process of moving yourself forward, while cutting the ties that have held you down for so long. When you put yourself into “action”, you no longer have fear or procrastination holding you down. And the funny thing is, once you start, you’ll soon wonder why you haven’t done this in the first place.

Even if you hit some road blocks or obstacles, these wonderful challenges will help you learn along the way, and make you feel truly alive. This part is called the "journey" that will get you where it is you want to go. If you are just wanting the destination instantaneously, don't be surprised if you end up exactly where you started, nowhere. This is why so many lottery winners become poor again in less than a year. However, when you do put yourself into action, you'll be amazed at the people you’re meant to meet and the connections that you're supposed to make.

So what are you waiting for? Look inside your heart and ask yourself exactly what you want. Then put yourself into action, by doing the work that will take you where it is you want to go. Think of it as a win-win proposition for you and your life. Soon you will start growing as a person, speaking your truth and having faith and belief in yourself, while realizing the "KEY" to getting rid of self-sabotage is "self-acceptance".


Coach Brian J. Zahn, PCLC is a Professional & Certified Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, Columnist "From the Coach's Corner" and has been trademarked for his "Be The KEY" philosophy. He has had guest appearances nationwide on radio and has been featured in several newspapers and magazines. Contact Coach Brian today to help you find the "KEY" that within you. Telephone: 480-254-5000 Email: Brian@Anewviewtoanewyou.com Web: www.bethekey.net