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Natural Awakenings Metro Phoenix & Northern Arizona

Developing a Relationship with Your Self: Your relationships with others have a direct impact on your relationship with your self, says Sherry Anshara

Feb 01, 2013 03:57PM ● By Sherry Anshara

Relationship is a key element for experiencing life through connections. Without relationships, how would we define our Self? Although we are amazing individuals, consider what life would be like without the connection of relationships. We would feel lonely, isolated, separate and different. Some people already define certain aspects of their Self this way.

Our primary relationship is the relationship with our Self. So much pressure is placed upon us to find the perfect formula that will define our success or failure in life—perhaps it isn’t about success or failure, but about how we define our Self.

We begin defining this relationship with our parents. If our parents are fearful, will likely be filled with fear. If our parents are constantly reinforcing fear-based emotions of lack and judgment, we will be imprinted with these ideas. Fears have a long-standing impact imprinted in cells that affect our behavior and relationships during the course of our life. That first relationship with our parents can characterize how we define our relationship with our Self and with others as we go through the stages of life. If parents are more open and recognize the importance of these relationships, we will be blessed to be more connected to both our parents and our Self.

Whatever emotional issues are experienced in our beginning can carry over throughout our life, resulting in questions such as, “Why do I do this?” or “Why do these relationships keep happening to me?” When these issues are addressed by our logical brain, we can’t get complete answers, so it can take years of therapy to “wish” for resolutions. We simply stay stuck in the story lodged in our head with repeated dysfunctional relationships.

Our logical brain is too limited to connect the dots for achievable results, so a clear relationship with our Self, body and connection to cellular memory and imprinted experiences will give clear answers. We will then know that some of our fears, ideas about relationships and recycled, nonproductive behavior in relationships are not truly ours, but an emotional version of someone else’s ideas about life.

Only then can we begin to look at our relationships from a factual standpoint. Are the profiles of those relationships emotional, influenced by the past or even from the womb? There are roles that we play out over and over again. We ask our Self—do these profiles result in similar dysfunctional behaviors? No matter whether the relationship is personal or professional, when we are stuck in a non-productive role filled with self-fear about judgment, lack, not good enough or not smart enough, we will draw to our Self, in the Law of Distraction, the same relationship profiles into our life, over and over again.

As we begin to love our Self unconditionally, we may find hidden patterns that are not from Self, but imprinted opinions of others that have no idea how much they have influenced us. Any time is the perfect time to assess our Self productively and non-emotionally by observing all our relationships. Are the relationship connections productive or are they Self-defeating?

We can extricate our Self from nonproductive relationships that are no longer relevant to us. When our body and heart feel sick, it is definitely time to move on and forward in our life. If a relationship makes us sick, it’s not an authentic relationship. Let go of non-productive relationships. Then future relationships and experiences will not amount to more, repeatable versions of our past. Stay in the heart. Heart-to-heart is the only place for real relationships to begin and grow.

Connect to the inner wisdom of our cellular experiences. Through clear, heart-based, self-discernment, we will recognize what types of relationships are viable or not. Be open to new opportunities to develop relationships that are compatible and on the same wavelength as our new, clear Self.

Sherry Anshara, a medical intuitive, is the founder of the QuantumPathic Center of Consciousness and the QuantumPathic Energy Method. For more information, call 480-609-0874 or visit or

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